Whiteout
by ChattyLampshade
Summary: The blizzard grows stronger for every winter. - The backgrounds of our favorite Oina. Three-chaptered story. No pairings. -
1. Children

**Disclaimer: I do not own Okami – but maybe if I say please…?**

**I wrote something other than a oneshot! Le gasp! I figured that it could be interesting to write something about the Oina, with Oki and the others as kids, since you don't get to know a lot about their background in the game. This chapter is based on the brief mention Kai makes when you reach Ponc'tan, about her getting lost in Yoshpet and meeting Issun. I think she's a great character who gets much too little attention. But there's nothing that fan-minds can't solve!  
About Tuskle being Kai and Lika's "substitute mother"? I thought she was acting a bit motherly to Lika. Might just be me.  
No pairings in this one. It's focusing on friendship. But if you absolutely want to, you could interpret some OkixKai in this chapter, and OkixSamickle in the last two chapters. But that's your choice.  
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**_**Whiteout**_

_by Cassiopeie_

The calm after the storm - or rather, the blizzard - the serenity after a breakdown, the smile after the tears, the comforting silence – all this, perfectly illustrated by this moment - sitting in a warm house, embraced by blankets, with a fire hut kindly offering its warmth, and another cold and harsh winter had surrendered to the rays of the sun.  
Little Kai, barely ten years old, with her thin legs and messy, chestnut colored hair, felt _protected_, and _safe_. Warm, both on the outside and inside. She didn't need to worry anymore – she could trust the help of the others now. She was guarded.  
The cruel and inevitable winter, that each year came to Kamui, had taken her parents in its rampage. Kai, the mere child, had been left behind with her infant sister, with no place to go.  
Not that it wasn't something unusual. In this land of eternal nights and raging storms – _Kamui, the place where evil is born_, as the faint whispers goes – people dying early is not a rarity. Several of the now grown-up villagers became orphans in their younger days, so they all understand, and know what's to be done. The only special thing about Kai's case was that her sister still was so little – the poor little Lika would never remember her parents when she grew up…  
Her own memories from this time were dark and blurry – thank the spirits of the earth and sea for that, why would she even _want _to remember – all she could figure out from them, was an infinite storm of grief and confusion.  
But the calm had finally come. Spring. Warmth.  
It had been decided that the young shaman, Tuskle, would be her and Lika's new guardian –everyone had been considerate enough to never dub her _Kai and Lika's new mother_, and Tuskle herself would never be foolish enough to take that role herself, and Kai was ever grateful for that. Tuskle would simply be their caretaker until Kai had grown enough to fend for herself and Lika, offering a home, a place to sleep, food on a table, and kind words.  
And a fire hut.  
She was staring into it, observing the dancing flames consuming the wood, while keeping her head empty – not because she found it especially fascinating, but she simply had nothing else to do.  
The calm after the storm is, after all, very uneventful.  
In other words, little Kai, being a simple-minded and playful child, was bored.  
While she appreciated Tuskle's kind spirit and wouldn't replace her with anyone, she often got tired of the shaman's fondness of stillness. Her hut was located near the sacred mountain Ezofuji – isolated from the main village. And Tuskle herself spent a lot of her time on her own, studying old legends, praying, doing whatever shamans were supposed to do – Kai actually had no idea what all the mystical rituals were good for – and letting Kai do whatever she pleased. Lika could naturally not offer much company, and there weren't many children in the village to play with.  
So even though Kai didn't want to call herself that, she was lonely.  
Right now, she only had this fire hut.  
And she couldn't understand its language of flames.

But why would she let it be that way? If no one was to be her friend right now, she could be her own. Everything was fine now, after all, she had a home, she had nothing to fear. A new chapter of her life had started, and she was the one to write it.  
"Tuskle?" she said, carefully, without moving.  
The shaman looked up from her corner in the other side of the room, and met the child's eyes. Kai let out a breath of relief inside. She had been wondering if Tuskle would get angry would she ever bother her.  
"Yes, Kai?"  
Kai unwrapped herself of the blankets, and exposed herself to the cold air.  
"I would like to go outside."  
Several heartbeats passed as Tuskle considered. The Oina tradition of wearing masks made it impossible for Kai to figure out what her guardian was thinking by seeing her expression, and neither could Tuskle see what Kai's intentions were, but they both trusted each other, so the answer was:  
"Go ahead. But don't go too far."  
"I won't. I'll be back soon!"  
Kai skipped down on the floor, and tried her best to keep her head, and hopes, high as she walked through the hut and out of the door.

This had always been one of her favorite times of the year. Tiny bits of the spring in the form of green grass and maybe even a flower here and there were showing up through the snow, revealing with a proud laughter that look, they had survived this year too! Kai wanted to laugh herself as she observed this mockery of theirs. _Look, Kai, here we are, did you miss us, we were just hiding here all along!_  
As she walked down the Ezofuji path, with the enigmatic scenery of the Ark of Yamato stuck in the never-melting ice of Laochi Lake just in the edges of her sights, she got so sucked into the youthful voices of these stubborn plants, that she, without thinking much, made the usual flip in the air, and took her appearance of a pale brown wolf puppy.  
This strange ability wasn't something that the Oina reflected much upon. The half-beast, half-human people were, after all, isolated from the rest of Nippon, and therefore, none of them, not even the wise and experienced elders, had ever met a human without this ability. They took it completely for granted. Of course, there were dozens of fairytales and legends that told of the origin of it, but they were nursery rhymes, nothing more than silly stories to tell a child with nightmares at night. The Oina could transform into wolves. It was as simple as that. There was no point in even asking about it.  
Most of them cherished it, saw it as an advantage in battle and for moving, and so did Kai. There was nothing she treasured higher than being able to take in all the scents, voices and feelings of the nature, something she couldn't do as a human. Every Oina was the nature's friend and worshipper, and because of that, every Oina was more than welcome to explore it and observe it as they pleased.  
Yes, Kai loved her wolf form – while still small and young, it was so strong and agile and swift –traits that appealed very much to her. After all, the reason why her personal mask resembled a caribou was that she could almost run as fast as one. She had often challenged the villagers in races and many were the times when she stood as the winner, even when her opponents had been remarkably older than herself. It was her talent, her pride…  
Of course, that was before…  
She lifted her nose from a snow drop she had been investigating, and just kept walking down the path, without stopping to greet the cheerful plants.  
She wasn't sure where to go.

Kai passed through the village, now in human form, and tried her best to perk up a bit. She hadn't decided to finally go outside just to get all gloomy again, right?  
Right.  
She was alright now, after all, she was fine, she had Tuskle, she was fine, she was fine…  
Where were everyone? What time of the day was it?  
Long before noon, she figured after a quick glance at the sun. Chief Kemu and many of the others might still be sleeping. Tuskle always got up before the sun even begun to rise, and by the time Kai woke up, she was always behaving like if she had been up all day, so it was a bit hard to keep track of time in Tuskle's warm hut. And those who were not sleeping must be away on their morning hunting, Kai concluded.  
Bad luck.  
Should she go back to Tuskle? No, she would only be disappointed over herself if she did. She had been so determined to have a nice day out, only to be back staring into the fire hut all day again? Of course not. She could have fun on her own, and sooner or later, people would start waking up, and then everything would be as she had planned.  
So she held her head high, straightened her back, and skipped her way down the long stairs – not even the merchant had begun his business, could it really be that early? – and noticed that the ice surrounding the owl totem poles was starting to melt – a thin layer of water covered it. She squatted down, and put her pale hand on it. Stinging chills spread through it and up her arm as bare skin met frozen water, but it sank a little – very little, but still, it _sank_ – under her weight, showing her that it was on the brink of its death. It was just a matter of time before it would be gone for this year.  
She smiled a little over finding another sign of the spring, and started to play around with the water – an act of taunt directed to the ice – making it produce tiny waves, before standing up again and walking the final steps leading out of the village.

It was like if someone had drawn a border right there, isolating the village from the rest of the white landscape of Kamui; fewer feet had walked on this snow, thus allowing it to deny the warmth of the sun a bit longer. It was such a small difference that Kai was surprised over that she even noticed it, but it still existed, and marked that _this is where the village ends and where the wasteland begins, anything out here is not a part of us.  
_A flash of pity fluttered through her compassionate child heart for a moment – but for whom?  
A few steps later, she got the answer to that question.  
Not far from where she was standing, a small hut, humble and not in a very good shape, was hidden in a corner, like if it was trying its best to stay unnoticed. It looked like it was on its way of falling apart as well, as the roof had several holes and at least three of the pieces of wood were sticking out.  
The owner of the house seemed to be very well aware of this fact, as he was trying to climb up the roof with some straw in his hand – and by the looks of it, it wasn't going too well. After all, trying to climb up a ramshackle hut without breaking it in the process isn't an easy task. Especially if the climber is an eleven-year old boy without anyone or anything to help him.  
A boy with spiky red-and-black hair, and a mask made to give the impression of glowing red eyes, as a symbol of his somewhat feisty demeanor he sometimes displayed as a young child.  
Oki. Kai had forgotten him today. Everybody did.  
But how could she? She should feel an affinity with him, she should have searched for support in him long ago. He would have understood her, as he was the other orphan in this village.  
Oki was one year older than her, and he had lost his parents three years ago, in a similar way as in Kai's case. But for some reason that Kai would never know, he hadn't gained the same support from the other villagers. He was left behind to fend for himself at such a young age. He wasn't isolated from the village and was very welcome to come there for a meal or two, but no new guardian had been offered for him. Gradually, his visits to the village had become less and less frequent, gradually, he had become, at the age of eleven, a confirmed recluse.  
It was all a mystery to Kai, and she wasn't even a part of it, but as she now watched the little boy Oki struggling with repairing his hut, an infinite wave of guilt and pity drowned her as if she was a seashell on a beach. How could she only been thinking about herself and her own troubles all this time, when Oki was going through much worse things than her? He was so alone… how could she… poor Oki…  
The kind little soul that was Kai had it clear before her how she would spend her time.  
He didn't notice her until she opened her mouth:  
"Hi", and she was smiling, "Do you need help?"  
He stopped his hand mid-air, and quickly turned his head. Stared at her. Blinked his eyes.  
And fell down.  
She's Kai, _swift as a caribou_, and she was there to catch him – her arms weren't strong enough to carry him, but she could make sure that he didn't get hurt by acting as a soft landing ground. She let go of him immediately, and they were both on feet again in a few seconds.  
She leaned towards him, just a little bit: "You okay?"  
He looked at her, his blue mask hiding any traces of what he was thinking. Little Kai couldn't help but thinking that it was unfitting, but hopelessly cute, that this lonely boy who had to take on the world all by himself, and seemed to consider himself capable of it, had a mask in the shape of some kind of cuddly, harmless animal. If it hadn't been for the intense red eyes, he would have looked awfully pitiful. Kai wondered what his parents had been thinking when they made it for him. Or perhaps he had such a side to himself? Maybe even his withdrawal from the world was based on shyness?  
As Kai's mind was working hard with all of this, Oki still watched her silently, before letting out a "…Yeah."  
And then, he turned her back at her.  
"Hey!" she called out.  
She thought to herself that it wasn't very weird that he did, and that she should be considerate and patient with him, the poor boy had been alone for such a long time…  
Though it couldn't hurt to try teaching him some manners.  
"You usually would at least say thank you!"  
He stopped, without turning around, and without saying anything.  
She waited.  
He was silent.  
She waited.  
He was still silent.  
She lost her patience.  
"Well…?" she said, trying to push him forward.  
Kai wasn't very used to this kind of person, no matter what she tried to tell herself.  
He murmured something, and Kai decided it to be a "thank you", just for the sake of her own impatience.  
Then, she ran up to him, and not even his mask could hide his surprise.  
"Hey, do you want to play with me?" she asked cheerfully, and smiled to him.  
The answer she was used to hear, and now was expecting to hear, was a "sure" or at the very least a "later". Not many of the villagers had the heart to turn down the kind little child that was Kai.  
But then again, Oki couldn't really be considered a villager.  
"No."  
Just a simple as that.  
Kai frowned. What was this now? She thought the boy would be thirsting after company. What did he mean "no"?  
How dared he?  
"Why?" she prompted.  
Oki just started walking towards his hut to continue with the reparations, without any intention to answer her whatsoever, but she wouldn't let him; she grabbed his shoulder.  
"Are you mute or what? I asked you a question!"  
"… I don't want to."  
Kai, who had lived a happy life with dozens of persons to choose from whenever she wanted someone to spend the day with just up to three months ago, was not amused by the stoic and, in her opinion, highly rude Oki. She didn't notice how every promise she just made to herself about consideration and patience flew right out of her mind, nor how they started to be replaced with the first tiny flames of fury, nor how their smoke gradually started to cover up her mind, along with her judgment.  
"Don't be so rude!" she yelled at him, _yelled at him_, thirty seconds ago she had been smiling, and now she _yelled at him_. "It's not like you have anything better to do. You won't get anywhere with repairing your hut anyway!"  
"I will" he murmured, but louder this time, so that she would hear it.  
"No, you won't!"  
And then, her mind completely burning with anger, her ears deaf from hearing her conscience's warnings, she dropped the bomb.  
"No wonder no one likes you!"  
For a short moment, and it was over in the blink of an eye, his head tilted just a fraction to her direction, like if he wanted to give her an answer burning with fury. But he stopped himself, and bit his lip, and then:  
"Get away."  
His voice was drenched in new-awoken disdain, and the drops of it fell down on the ground, corroding it - and suddenly a thousand miles lied between him and Kai.  
"You don't know anything about me", he continued. "Leave me alone! Don't speak to me! Get lost!"  
And he didn't even look at her.  
Left behind was Kai, pierced with the arrows of harsh words, a hurt child, her lips trembling. She reacted as any other immature child would do when humiliated - eyes filled with tears of anger, a cry of "You idiot!" to his back, and two swift legs running away without any idea of where to run.

This had to be the worst day ever.  
Deep inside she knew very well that this was absolutely nothing compared to the day when she lost her precious parents, but her highest wish right now was to sulk, and to be pitied. So to her, her day was ruined.  
She ran and ran – this was her own element, after all, one that she could find comfort in – and she didn't even know where she was. She could make out blurry figures of trees with the corners of her eyes, and her brain registered that it was becoming darker for every step, but to be honest, she couldn't care less.  
She ran and ran and ran.  
She got lost without even noticing.

Kai was surrounded by wilted trees and a terrible, but inevitable, feeling running up her veins.  
How in the name of the spirits of the earth and sea could she be so stupid?  
She had run right into _Yoshpet_. She was _lost_ in _Yoshpet.  
_Ever since she was an infant she had heard stories of the consuming forest, and no matter if they were fairytales or simple warnings, they all carried the same message:  
Never ever get lost in Yoshpet. Never ever even enter Yoshpet. Oina can't survive more than a few minutes in it. If you do enter it, it's your end.  
She would die…  
It was like her heart was desperately trying to get out of her chest, her limbs as numb as if she would have been a rag doll, and her head was one big hole with panic bouncing around in it. ShewaslostinYoshpetlostlostlostinYoshpetshewoulddiediediedie…  
The trees seemed to mock her, taunt her, laugh at her. _Look, Kai, there you are, lost! Look what you've gotten yourself into! Has there ever been a greater fool? _And the winds were cold and sharp as knives, no warmth broke through, no flowers grew her.  
Spring never came to Yoshpet.  
And all of Kai's hope left her in a second. She fell down on the cold ground, her legs too despaired to bear her, and wept.

"Hey there, kid, what'cha crying for?"  
A small part of Kai's mind, the only one not fully concentrated on the thought that she had only a few more minutes to live, noticed a small, squeaky voice, barely even hearable. Her eyes were too tear-filled to see, but if she could, she would have been met with the sight of a tiny ball of green light bouncing toward her. But as it was now, she didn't even acknowledge it.  
"Hey!" the voice shouted, louder this time, so that Kai had no choice but to notice it. "You're an Oina, right? What the heck are you doing here?"  
She searched with her eyes in confusion, but no one was to be seen. Was she hallucinating?  
"Over here!"  
She widened her eyes. By her feet, the tiny green light bounced up and down, calling to her attention.  
"A Poncle?" she said, and could not hide her surprise.  
The Poncles and the Oina were two tribes in alliance. There were several old legends telling of teamwork situations between them, and some of the villagers could even brag about meeting one of the peculiar bug-sized creatures, but Kai had never even seen one. She remembered how she used to be so fascinated with them when she was younger. A whole village small enough to fit in a tree stump! What would it be like to be so small? And here she was meeting one, in the middle of Yoshpet, with her life on the line.  
"No, a dragon, what does it look like?" the Poncle answered sarcastically. "That aside, you have to get out of here pronto!"  
Her lip started trembling a little again by the Poncle's reminder of her situation, but he didn't seem to notice.  
"Let's see…" he said and started bouncing back and forth. "It might be a bit dangerous to go all the way back to Wep'Keer, but… I got it! Follow me! Come on!"

Kai's legs stayed numb for a couple of empty seconds, before they realized that she had her ticket to escape here. She blinked, before finally standing up, doing the forward flip in the air in order to transform into wolf form, and following her pint-sized savior.  
It was hard to see the tiny green light in the dark forest, but he was patient with her, constantly spouting off cries of "Over here!" and "Come on!" whenever she was about to lose track of him. Everything was a blur to her: she jumped, ducked and ran, ran, ran without having any time to wonder what actually was going on around her. She turned left and right in this seemingly infinite maze of confusion, and put all of her trust in the miniature boy.  
And somehow, she almost thought it was fun. In all that it was, it wasn't very different from the races she had with the villagers in her younger days, with laughter and ever-lasting happiness – the ones that she always won.  
So why would she lose now?  
Never.  
So Kai ran, faster than the most ferocious wind, faster than fear, Kai, _swift as a caribou_, and forgot all about loneliness, boredom, and rude hermit boys.

"Here we are, then! Welcome to Ponc'tan!"  
It was a sanctuary, standing out as a sore thumb to the gloomy forest. Not a single snowflake could be seen, instead, there were what seemed like hundreds of flowers and loads of vivid green grass. There was light in the air, like if the oasis was its own light source, but if she gazed to the sky, she could clearly see the sun smiling to her, and blessing this place with its warm rays.  
Spring had already come to this place.  
Kai unconsciously turned back into her human form, and sat down helplessly on the ground.  
"You tired?" the Poncle asked. "No wonder. Never thought an Oina could run so fast in that forest! 'Cause it drains your energy as if you were a wringed-out rag, you know. How the heck did you get in there, by the way?"  
Kai smiled a little when he complimented her speed.  
"I was just stupid…" she then said. "I didn't know where I was going, and before I knew it, I was lost…"  
"Uh-huh…" he replied, as if into the distance. "Well, you should watch where you're going from here on, then. You can stay here for a while. Then, we can try head back to Wep'Keer."  
He bounced two steps, towards her, and if she had squinted, she would have seen him doing a quick greeting bow.  
"Name's Issun!" he told her proudly. "The strongest, most handsome, and overall best Poncle in all of Nippon! Glad to give you a hand!"  
She giggled, with her hand over her mouth, the one that otherwise was so small, but was gigantic in comparison to the over-confident Issun.  
"I'm Kai." she told him.  
"Okay. Bet'cha got a lot of the villagers worried for you. They must be looking like crazy for you!"  
"…No one knows I'm gone."  
She put her arms around her knees.  
"Everybody's asleep or out hunting… and the last thing I did was saying some awful things to that boy…"  
She was speaking more to herself than to Issun. Now she remembered, and she wished she hadn't. Crawling, heavy feelings of guilt and regret filled up her stomach – how could she have been so mean to him? He actually hadn't done anything bad. _She _had been stupid and stubborn and mean and lots of other terrible adjectives, and she had no excuse. All out of _boredom_ – she was a silly child, silly and immature, and she _deserved _getting lost in the consuming forest.  
Didn't she?  
Shedidshedidshedid…  
"… What?" said the small, squeaky voice of Issun, not understanding what she meant.  
Kai woke up from her thoughts, looked at him, one-two-three-four-five seconds…  
And then, she wept.  
"H-Hey!" Issun shouted, bouncing more nervously. "Don't start crying again! Did I say something or what?  
"N-N-Noooo…" the child tried to say over her crying, but the tears and her aching throat wouldn't let her.  
She did… she did deserve it… she was such a terrible person…. Each tear rolling down her cheek carried a new knife of harsh words to herself, each one cutting a new wound, because she did deserve it, she really did, she really did…  
"_Cut it off already"  
_A high-pitched and squeaky, but nonetheless frightening, cry interrupted her tear-drenched thoughts. She opened her wet eyes in surprise, and saw a bright red – not green – light ball bouncing furiously bouncing a few inches to her face.  
"Would you just stop?!" Issun continued in the same pitch and tone. "I don't know what happened, but nothing's going to get better if you just sit here and blubber like another idiot! Kid or not, there's nothing that annoys me more than crybabies! So just get a grip and stop it!"  
Kai couldn't do anything else than just sit there and blink.  
The tears stopped falling immediately out of pure surprise.  
Issun's words had been the closest she had gotten to a scolding in a long time, and she was absolutely astonished by them.  
His fiery red color faded a little and he bounced down on the ground, standing by her knees.  
"Look", he said, as if he was speaking to a three-year-old, "I don't know what you said to whoever it was, but just go and say sorry if you're feeling bad about it! It's nothing more than that! Geez! I mean, how hard can it... be…"  
All the rest of his red color disappeared in the middle of the sentence, and he took on his usual green, but it was more pale than before. If Kai had been his size, she would have seen his eyes wander away to some point at her right side and grow, but as it was now, she only saw his tiny body tilt a little bit to the right, as if he looked at something behind her – so she turned around to see what caught his attention.  
And her jaw dropped.  
A wolf puppy, panting of exhaustion, covered in dark blue fur, crowned with a red mane, and with almost glowing red eyes – unmistakably familiar features, even though she had never seen the wolf before.  
Oki.  
How could it be?  
And behind him, walking up to them, slowly and dignified: another puppy, but seemingly a few years older, with pale blue coat and a snow white mane – and behind _him_, an adult wolf, also blue, but a more icy shade – and in the distance, _more _wolves of different ages and colors.  
Everyone. They had all come for her.  
She recognized the pale blue puppy as the silent apprentice of chief Kemu, Samickle, who was a couple of years older than her – why was he in the front row?  
But the ice blue one was all the more familiar: Tuskle. Tuskle, Tuskle, Tuskle. She had come too. She had come.  
The whole _village_ had come. To look for her. To look for _her._  
And Oki…  
"Kai?" he said, still in wolf form, so tired that his legs and his voice were both shaking. "I… I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Kai, for being… rude… and making you run all the way here…"  
_I'm sorry._  
_He _said that. Even thought he shouldn't. He had no obligations whatsoever to say it, and yet he did. She could do nothing but stare at him in confusion. Why did he say sorry? She couldn't understand it, no matter how hard she tried.  
"_Kai!"  
_And then everything was one big blur of hugs, teary-eyed shamans, telling-offs that trembled of relief and affection, more hugs, grateful words to the Poncle who was more than glad to hear them, hair ruffles and laughs – and in the middle of everything: an apology that wasn't needed – and outside it all: a little boy silently watching her.  
And warm rays of sunlight, and flowers, and happy little insects, and small buds on the trees…  
Calm. Light. Spring.  
And now she was standing right in front of him, with an exposed and completely honest face, the kind that only children seemed to possess.  
"Oki", she said, "I'm the one who should say sorry. I was really stupid, and I really do understand if you never want to speak to me again, but I just want to say-"  
"It's okay."  
"What?"  
"It's okay. Really."  
He was holding up his hand to silent her.  
And he smiled.  
_Smiled.  
__It's okay. Really.  
Friend._

And spring came.


	2. Ice

**A time gap of two years between the last chapter and this one.  
This one isn't based on anything in the game. Just my muses.**

* * *

But then again, spring never lasts forever.  
They all knew that, now as they watched his fingers leave traces in the crystal white snow, struggling for his life, as they felt the ice waiting for a possibility to crack open and drag them, too, down the abyss, as the border between the ice and the sky was erased, turning everything to a white hell.  
Whiteout. Kai would always hate that word from that day.

_A white hell, when nothing is to be trusted._

But it had seemed like spring really would last forever, hadn't it? She had thought so for a long time now. Spring had lasted for two years, two years she would count as the happiest in her life.  
After that day in Yoshpet, she had gained a friend in the form of Oki. She had figured that under his withdrawn and tough shell, there was a very kind and brave boy, whose only fault was loneliness. It was almost funny how different he seemed to her now compared to that first day – now, he laughed and smiled with her, he played with her and teased her jokingly, just like any other twelve-year-old.  
But no matter how much she wished for it, it seemed she wasn't the one who should take the credit for that.

_The child tried so hard, she really did, but it wasn't enough._

Because along with Oki, another boy, one that she now called friend, was thrown into her life.  
She would never understand it, and Oki would never seem to tell her, and it would always be one of the things she pondered about when she was waiting for the blessing of sleep – but it figured Oki hadn't been quite as lonely as she had thought all that time.  
Because he had always had a best friend in the form of Samickle.  
It was so bewildering she didn't even want to think about it. She had never known Samickle – only as the stoic and stubborn (his mask, in the shape of a sharp falcon, told the story) boy who was always doing favors for Chief Kemu, so she assumed he was some kind of apprentice. He was two years older than her, and it was possible that they had played together as small children, though she couldn't remember anything of that. He had never seemed very nice to her, and so, she had always ignored him as much as she could.  
But Oki… always looked at Samickle with admiration and trust, always stood on his side would they ever get into a fight, always, always Samickle. And Samickle, silent and usually not a very tolerant person, never seemed to object to Oki's company, and was so _patient _with him, in a way that was hard for Kai to define. It was a strange bond between them, indeed, but it was unbreakable.

_And now the white falcon didn't even call out for help._

She hadn't noticed it in the beginning. She had thought Samickle came along when she and Oki played only because Tuskle had ordered him to do so – she had been much more careful with Kai and the two-year-old Lika's endeavors ever since the Yoshpet incident – like some kind of guardian. And he had acted out that belief, always standing by a tree or on a stone, silently watching her and Oki, always looking like he'd rather be somewhere else. But over time, he had become more and more of an active participant in their childish activities – most often on Oki's invitation, and not a very talkative one, but still, he was _there_. She had found that on that first day, Samickle had been the one Oki ran to and asked for help from when he noticed she was gone. And strangely, Kai started to think of him as a friend without even noticing it.

_The child called his name again and again, but so did the blue fire, and his voice was the only one that reached him.  
_  
So it was the three of them: Kai, Oki and Samickle. Friends. Comrades in the heated battle against imaginary enemies. Brothers and sisters when anyone needed a helping hand. Soul mates when anyone of them needed a comforting word under the black and cold sky. _Friends._  
So many happy memories they had made together… Like that one time when they played hide and seek and Kai, in her wolf form, managed to perfectly camouflage among the trees, letting it take poor Oki almost an hour before he could find her. Or when they helped with the preparations for the annual village festival, or when they under the guidance of Samickle learned the basics of sword fighting – Oki had shown a remarkable talent with the wooden blade, almost winning against Samickle, while Kai had to conclude that her talent would always remain in running.  
But there was always a feeling haunting her mind – always there, always putting itself as a wall between them and her – and it told her that she could never fully be a part of them, that she always would stand on the outside – like if she would never understand. In the end, it was never the three of them – it was Oki and Samickle, and then Kai. Two, and one. Never them all together.  
And it was true – Kai couldn't understand. It was like they shared a secret that she would never know. Their bond – however strange and mysterious – was too strong to ever fully let her in.

_The child is numb. Someone else is grabbing the white falcon's hand._

And Oki would never forgive her for this. He had forgiven her countless times before, but not today. She knew it long before he said it.  
It had just been another day of playing and laughing – spring had still been there, even though the ground was covered by snow and ice. They had been running through the forest, Kai had been the fastest as always, and she could no longer remember exactly what they had been doing, but she had been happy.  
She had thought her happiness would be everlasting. How could she have known it would end the very same day?  
They had arrived at a small lake, the one where the adults used to go fishing at. And then, Kai, the foolish child, had come up with a challenge for the others: "Hey, I know, let's try to run all the way to the other side of the lake! On the ice! We'll run on the ice!"  
And Samickle: "… It's dangerous. The ice has only been out for a few days. It might break."  
"Aw, come on, Samickle! If it starts cracking, we'll just run back! "  
Samickle had not been convinced by this, and a small argument had taken place between them. And Kai, foolish Kai, hadn't been willing to listen at his warnings. The ice, break? Never. Not in this everlasting spring. Nothing bad could ever happen.  
And she had ignored them both, and run out on the frozen lake by herself.  
She had laughed: "See! It's not breaking at all!"  
She hadn't noticed that Samickle angrily had run out after her – "Come back _now_!" – and that Oki came after him.  
Her smile had been interrupted by Oki's scream. She had turned around, to meet the sight of Samickle fighting for his life in a deep hole in the ice, drenched in dark, cold water.  
Her only thought had been that _Samickle was about to die, and it was her fault._

The blue fire wasn't going to let his most precious person die, no matter the odds, and when the numb child saw this, she awakened and grabbed his hand too.

And they pulled and pulled and pulled, because it _was _a question of life and death, and there was no time for thinking. Samickle's warmth flickered, only kept alive by the warmth of his friends' hands, and yet, they felt him getting heavier and heavier.  
If anyone had got any time to look at each other, they would have been astonished by Oki's face. It was the perfect example of fear of losing something, so strong that it turns into courage and strength – the kind that flows in the veins of heroes that gives it all simply because they don't have anything left to lose. It was a flash of Oki's true nature that slept deep within him, and it wouldn't show up again before years later.  
And maybe that was the very thing that ultimately saved Samickle.  
The fourteen-year-old boy fell down on the ice, panting heavily, and Oki was immediately there to support him.

_Now I've paid you back. _

And Kai stood helpless. Helpless, paralyzed, still numb. She said nothing as she and Oki carried Samickle back to safe land.

_I'm so sorry._

And when Oki had watched over Samickle for a few minutes to make sure he would be alright, he turned his face to her.  
And it was the most terrible thing she had ever seen.  
No mask could hide the fury he directed to her, the burning message of _I blame you_ that he sent to her, the _hate_.  
Oki hated her for her foolishness. She had almost killed his most precious person out of pure foolishness. He would hate her even more if she expected him to ever forgive her.  
"This was your fault, Kai." he said, and she instinctively leaned back away from him, her heart pounding with fear and despair – her best friend hated her…  
"Samickle almost died and it's your fault", he continued, ignoring her unspoken pleads.  
Yes, she pleaded him not to say anything more, she knew, she wished him just to finish this as mercifully he could.  
But no.  
"Get away."  
They were back in that first day, hurting each other. That day, she had figured out who was the stronger one of the two. But everyone has a limit, and Oki had reached his. He would never forgive her for this.  
"Oki…" she tried, just once, but it was all in vain.  
"Get away!"

_And suddenly a thousand miles lied between him and Kai._

She knew it was no use, so she obeyed.  
Because she was a child. Always a child. A child caught up in the middle of a blizzard, a child that made mistakes, a child that didn't understand.  
Would she ever?  
Would she ever grow up?  
She thanked him in her mind for these two years of friendship.  
And ran away.


	3. Avalanche

**Long time-gap between the last chapter and this one. And it seems they're dropping in quality… My deepest apologies. Oh well. Here's the ending - my interpretion of the Kutone incident.**

* * *

This isn't the first time Oki has a blood-stained face.  
It feels like it, but it's not.  
He has been a warrior for quite some time now. He has slaughtered countless of vicious demons ravaging his white homeland, and he can name them all without even thinking, and knows all of their weak spots. Nowadays, he rarely gets badly hurt by them, but only a few years ago, his body used to be drenched in blood as red as the rising sun after every fight. He knows what it's like.  
But it has never been like this.  
He has never watched his people scream in panic, only to fall down lifeless on the cold ground, one by one. He has never seen the snow turn red by their blood. He has never stood helpless with the silhouettes of the great twin demons slaughtering every life in their way. He has never rushed to someone's rescue, risking his very life in order to give his precious friend and his leader a chance to escape. He has never fought as ferociously as he did.  
And he has never failed this hard.  
He lost.  
He lost!  
He bangs his fists, again and again, into the snow-covered ground. He curses himself and walks around restlessly and aimlessly. He kicks the snow around so that the tiny flakes rise to dance around him, before quickly falling down again.  
Nothing helps. Nothing can change anything.  
He couldn't defeat them. He couldn't save all those who now lay on the ground as cold corpses.  
Oki has failed.

The blizzard around him only seems to grow stronger and stronger. A cold and silent wind, piercing everything, painting the sky and the ground whiter and whiter.  
Whiteout.  
A strange serenity could be sensed in the air, the kind that comes after a great disaster, when the screams have been screamed and the tears have been cried and the lives have been lost. It leaves the survivors left behind to grieve and pick up the shards of their lives – to try and fix everything as much as possible. If someone cries, it's silent. Everything is silent.  
The calm after the storm. But it's not a comforting calm.  
It's simply death. Everything and everyone are dead.

He starts walking.  
He passes corpses lying on the ground and lowers his head, trying not to look at them. He passes the empty houses.  
He knows. He knows that nothing of it can be blamed on him, but he still lets out a silent _I'm sorry_. To who? To the village? To those left behind? To Samickle? And for what? For not being strong enough? Didn't he try his best?  
_To the smiling faces he found and lost, to the happiness, and for everything he could ever possibly have done wrong.  
_Maybe he has had enough of all that.  
Maybe he can do something _now_.  
Maybe.  
He sits down for a while, to think through this new idea that suddenly appears in his head. As he does, it quickly grows stronger and stronger, gaining more and more evidence to rely on, turning into a belief, a convincement, a decision – and so, it's all clear before him.  
Yes, he can do something now. It's all very simple. He can do it. He is the only one who can do it. He must do it. He will avenge the village and save it from the terrible twin demons, and he will do it now.  
The time has come.

Laochi Lake is by far the strangest sight in all of Kamui, with the ancient and enigmatic arc stuck right in its unbreakable and eternal ice, located right under the sacred mountains of Ezofuji, and last but not least – and this was the thing that was his goal now – the sacred sword resting in its pedestal in the middle of it all.  
The sword called Kutone had been there as long as anyone in the village could remember. Legends told that it once had been wielded by a great Oina hero and that it, after a long and adventurous journey, had ultimately saved the land of Kamui, and sealed in the pedestal until it was needed again.  
It was now, Oki thought.  
And the prophecy – of course, the prophecy: "_The wall of ice shall shatter and open the way to the heavens when Kutone, the guardian sword, glows silver"._  
Life among the Oina revolves a lot around legends, folklore and prophecies. Questioning them is an absurdity, and Oki is no exception to this rule. As soon as he remembers this prophecy, he strongly believes it is the key to salvation. So, he shall do what no one has dared to do ever since the sword was put to rest.  
He shall take the sword and defeat the demons with it. It is the only way.  
In awe of the sacred weapon, but with determined and brave steps, he walks towards it. One step, two steps, three steps, synching up to his heartbeats, four steps, five, six, seven...  
But there, he has to stop.  
He is not alone. Someone is standing behind him.  
It's strange that he knows who it is before he even starts turning his head. Maybe it's the sound of the slow, steady, but still somehow hesitating footsteps, or maybe he can even hear her breathing.  
But he knows Kai is watching him.  
She opens her mouth.  
"Oki."  
Nothing more.  
He hasn't spoken to her, his old friend, in many years. Not since that day when she unintentionally almost killed Samickle. He is not bitter and angry at her anymore, not at all, but she has simply faded away more and more over the years. He has to admit he hasn't paid her many thoughts in more than five years. Maybe she never was very important to him in the first place. No one could ever be as important to him to Samickle, his very best friend, the one who acknowledged him and helped him when he lost his parents so long ago. But still. He would always appreciate the time of friendship she shared with him and Samickle. So long ago.  
But they are not a part of each other's lives anymore. She is just one of the villagers now to him.  
Yet, he turns around.  
She is not a child anymore. Neither is he. He has seen her smile and laugh often. But now, she looks broken. He wonders what she has thought all these years, and what she is thinking now.  
"What are you doing here, Oki?" she asks him. Her voice is not suspicious. She can't possibly know what he is about to do now. Maybe she was just passing by.  
"Nothing at all", he says, and he tries his best to sound neutral in voice, to show that whatever she's thinking, he is better than not being able to forgive something she did at the mere age of twelve.  
She does not walk toward him. She simply stays there in her place. Is she afraid? Tired? Why is she so broken?  
"… Terrible…" she says at last. It's almost a whisper, a weak statement that soon is lost with the wind. "A terrible disaster…"  
"Truly…" he comments.  
Of course. She, with so many bonds to the people in the village, the ones who now lies in their own blood, whose bodies soon will rotten and be forgotten. He has always remained on the outside, so he cannot understand, but he can see that she has lost a big part of her world.  
"Oki," she starts, now more firm and direct in her speech – this is what she wanted, "Have you seen Lika? I can't find her anywhere… she's been gone ever since… And I can't find her among the…"  
She cannot bring herself to utter the words, but it's easy to figure out her message.  
"Oki… You don't think…"  
"I'm sorry, Kai", he tells her, and means it in many ways, "I haven't seen her. I don't know. But she must be around here somewhere…"  
"Oh… I'll… keep looking then… bye…"  
She glances at him, one last time, and turns around.  
It's almost funny. She, with the caribou mask, should be running around freely and with a laughter brightening up her face, is now walking away slowly, almost limping. Walking away. She has left his story long ago.  
He waits until he can be sure she cannot see him anymore, and then he turns back to the sword. There is no time to lose.  
He thinks that _this is for you too, Kai. This is for everyone. It's for the best of the village.  
_The sword is right before him, and he breaths one, two, three times, before finally taking a steady grip around the sacred sword.  
There are many things he does not know yet. He is still half-blind, missing a big part of the truth.  
As long as he is, his attempts are all in vain. He will try so hard, and he will fail many times.  
He will walk deeper and deeper into himself, locking the door after him. He will not remember his friends' smiles and laughter in a while.  
He will lose a lot.  
Much more hopeless blood will stain his face.  
He does not know that despite all this, he will shine. It will take time, and it will be hard, but in the end, he will be the shining hero, and his blue fire will burn.  
He will spend one month in his limited belief. Winter will last for a month, and it will be harsher and more brutal than the Oina has ever known. The storms will be many. The whiteout will rule.  
But in the end, he will bring spring to Kamui.  
He will take the hand of his precious friend and walk into the spring. He will shine.  
But right now, he does not know anything of this. Maybe he shouldn't.  
And so, the sacred sword of Kutone is pulled out of its pedestal.  
It will take time before it shines.  
But spring will come.

_**Whiteout **__- The end -  
_

* * *

**This took more time than it should have taken. And it's not perfect. But I'm happy enough with it to finally publish it, all three chapters at once.  
Hah… I originally intended this to be more light-hearted than it turned out to become. Why can't I ever seem to write anything bright and happy? Muses of comedy, awaken from your slumber!  
The little button under this text is lonely and hungry. Click on it. Because you care.**


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